Nostalgia and New Beginnings
by booktiger22
Summary: Ichigo is broken but he doesn't know it, can Shiro fix it or will Ichigo be broken forever. Ulqui/ichi gimm/Ichi main pairing Hichi/Ichi YAOI not explicit for my first fanfic, give it a try pls.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this is my first fanfic, go easy on me pls. Its going to start out grimm/ichi but I think it will eventually end up ichi/hichi. Thx for giving this a try. Its not long but pls review. Constructive critism is appreciated.

umm I've forgotten the most important thing, the disclaimer this is the third time I've had to update to fix a mistake... (Sighs)

Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach, the characters aren't mine, the idea isn't mine. You get the picture, plus if i did own Bleach there would have been more Hichigo... So yeah

Chapter1

"Shit" Ichigo cursed as a beer bottle flew past his head and smashed against the wall. It was his abusive boyfriend again, Grimmjow.

"You wanna fight back Ichigo? Huh! Come on!" Grimmjow's breath smelled like alcohol and drugs again. This wasn't unusual for Grimmjow. He'd been an alcoholic and a drug addict since high school.

Ichigo backed up until his back was against the rough surface of the wall. He needed to get out of this situation, usually it wasn't this bad and Ichigo could defend himself. But not this time, oh no. Grimmjow was pissed and drunk. Not a good combo.

Looking down at his feet Ichigo pretended to be submissive. "Of course not Grimmjow, I didn't mean to curse at you, you know I'd never do that right?" "Huh" Grimmjow stepped back back and chuckled, "Oh no, I'm not falling for that again. You think I'm dumb Ichigo, yeah? But I'm not. I ain't stupid, I see what your trying to do here and it's not gonna work because I know All your dirty little tricks." Ichigo shrunk back against the wall as Grimmjow kept talking, "Ever since high school you've had everyone wrapped around you're little finger and I was just the cherry on the ice cream sundae wasn't I? WELL NOT ANYMORE! I'M DONE WITH YOU!" Grimmjow bellowed and slammed his hand into the wall next to Ichigo's head.

It's true Ichigo had been a bit frivolous in high school and hadn't really considered the consequences of a real relationship with Grimmjow. But he was hot and gay, and Ichigo was young.

Things had only gone down hill from there. Ichigo broke it off with Grimmjow his senior year and boy had Grimmjow been ticked off. He'd shouted in his face about love and loyalty and asked if he'd ever meant anything to Ichigo, he never did. That doesn't mean that's what he told him, nope, not even close.

You see, at the time Grimmjow was very physical in relationships, and Ichigo was not the type for public affection. So, Ichigo told Grimmjow the only logical thing he could come up with. He was uncomfortable with the way Grimmjow treated him, and Grimmjow left. For a while.

Ichigo never wondered where he went. After all it's not like he'd been his first. His first had been an upperclassmen named Ulquiorra Cifer.

Ulquiorra was a nihilist, and therefore cared about almost nothing. People shied away from him because he seemed so cold. Ichigo liked the cold.

Ichigo's grades were suffering and so he got a tutor, who turned out to be Ulquiorra and that's how it started, first it was just a casual relationship, but as time wore on it grew deeper and the bond became tighter. Until Ulquiorra left Ichigo, right after his first time. No note nothing, just in his bed, at his house. Broken.

Ichigo was never the same after that. Relationships became things to be used and discarded, people were toys and life was meaningless.

Ichigo was brought back into the present by sharp pain on the left side of his jaw. Blinking, it took a second before his situation really sunk in. It was never this bad, maybe some yelling but never before had Grimmjow used violence.

Grimmjow bared bis teeth in a menacing snarl and stepped toward him his eyes filled with hate.

"You lied, and now i'll never let you go." Was the last thing Ichigo beard before his world went black.

Ichigo woke feeling dizzy and disoriented, where was he, where did Grimmjow go? Why did his head hurt? Taking in his surroundings he saw a room full of white, was he in a hospital?

Ichigo was genuinley confused when he heard a voice coming from next to him, "Ichigo Kurosaki? How are you feeling? I'm doctor Ishida Uryuu. You were injured but for now your condition is stable and your jaw is healing fine."

"My jaw?" Ichigo asked? Since when did he have an injury on his jaw? All the memories came rushing back at once. Grimmjow getting drunk, Grimmjow getting mad, Grimmjow punching him, Grimmjow knocking him out...

Wait! He was knocked out! Then how did he get here? Surely Grimmjow didn't take him here, to the hospital, did he? Clearing his throat Ichigo rasped out, "Would you mind explaining how I got here? My memories are fuzzy." Okay, that was a lie, but what could he say? Oh yeah, my abusive boyfriend knocked me out and now I'm disoriented and possibly crazy. No, definitely not.

"Ichigo your neighbors next door called the cops and said they thought you were being harmed, so they investigated... And found you on the floor bledding out of the side of your mouth laying on your side." Dr. Ishida had a sympathetic look in his eyes as he said this.

Ichigo didn't need his pity, he was just fine on his own... Or maybe not. He sighed and scratched the side of his head, "Where's Grimmjow?" He asked in a voice that sounded older than it should have. "He's downtown being questioned by the cops Ichigo, your safe for now. " Dr. Ishida sounded tired too, Ichigo wondered if he was alright. Dr. Ishida gave Ichigo a nod, his wire rimmed glasses sliding down his nose. He adjusted them with one finger before walking out into the hall and shutting the door behind him.

For the first time in months Ichigo felt safe.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, I wrote the last chapter to kind of give ya'll an idea of what happened to Ichigo in the past and also what was happening in the present. I'm writing this on my way home from a road trip, forgive in grammatical errors pls. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, all credit is his. I really wish there was more Hichigo though... Oh well

Ichigo had been released from the hospital today and he was glad, Dr. Ishida had been filling his ears with useless facts about fashion. Not only was his lab coat white but everything else he wore was white too. Sometimes his clothes had patterns of blue but that didn't really change the oddness of it all.

The past week Ichigo's jaw had been healing until finally today they let him go. The first thing on Ichigo's to do list for today was to return to Grimmjow's apartment and gather up his stuff. He didn't really want to go back there but what choice did he have? All his stuff was there.

So, that's how Ichigo ended up standing outside Grimmjow's apartment cursing at himself.

Grimmjow never gave him a key. Which means that now Ichigo had to go to the police's office and probably sign a lot of paper as well as see his ex. That's just great, Ichigo thought. Oh well, no use wasting time.

Turning around Ichigo walked back down the hall to thank his neighbors, Urahara and Yoruichi for calling the cops. To say Ichigo was embarrassed was the understatement of the year. Ichigo was mortified, the tips of his ears burning with shame. It turns out they'd known all along and had been waiting for Ichigo to do something, but despite his efforts it became clear to them that Ichigo couldn't win this time, so that's how they ended up calling the cops.

After thanking them Ichigo kept walking until he reached the edge of the road before he called for a cab to take him to the police station. The cab driver was extremely nice, her name was Inoue Orihime, she talked most of the time and made Ichigo feel better about possibly having to see Grimmjow again.

So Ichigo told her what happened.

After Ichigo broke it off with Grimmjow he got a job at a local Starbucks, there was this one customer who just happened to be a cop, Abarai Renji. Renji was cute and always came to Ichigo's Starbucks for his cofee. Eventually they got to talking and then flirting. Things were going pretty well... When Grimmjow walked in.

Stopping in his tracks Grimmjow stared at Ichigo cooly before walking up and ordering a caramel macchiato with two shots of expresso. Nothing happened and Grimmjow walked out with his drink unfazed. So, Ichigo kept talking to Renji.

After Ichigo's shift ended he was asked by his co worker to take out the trash, so he did. That's when it happened.

Ichigo felt strong arms encircling him and a cloth was pressed against his mouth, the cloth was covered in morphine and Ichigo was knocked out.

When Ichigo came to he was in an apartment on a couch. To his left dozing in a chair was Grimmjow. Figuring this was his chance Ichigo stood up and trotted towards the door trying to make his steps as light as possible when a voice sounded behind him, "Don't even think about it Ichigo, you're not going anywhere." Grimmjow said as he shifted his position in the chair, now he sat with his elbows on both his legs and his chin in his hands.

"I've missed you Ichigo, we were always meant to be together. You made a stupid mistake when you broke up with me. I should hurt you, but instead I'm going to offer you a second chance." Ichigo froze, a second chance, he thought. He needed Grimmjow to believe he wanted him back... Maybe this was his opportunity, "Grimmjow I'm not sure if I deserve a second chance..." When in doubt act innocent, was Ichigo's rule to live by.

Standing up Grimmjow strode towards Ichigo and cupped his cheek in his hands, before he leaned down and kissed him. Ichigo's eyes widened and he pushed his hands against Grimmjow's shoulders. Grimmjow wasn't having any of it.

Grabbing Ichigo's hands he held them above his head at the wrists. Ichigo couldn't help it he squirmed, and Grimmjow pulled away smirking evilly. "Liar. You don't want me back you want to distract me." Backing away be picked up a picture off the granite counter. "You see this picture Ichigo, make one wrong move and she dies." Ichigo's eyes bulged, that was Yuzu!

Grimmjow chuckled, "Now you get it Ichigo, you obey and your sister lives." Ichigo had no choice and so he put up with Grimmjow for three months before the night Urahara called the cops.

Now he was sitting in the back of a cab staring up a set of white marble steps toward the NYPD. This was it all he had to do now was get the key to the apartment, get his stuff and start over. Ichigo was going to take back his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** : here's the third chapter, now that my mojo's flowing I'm ready to write more. please enjoy, review if you like. constructive criticism is appreciated. :)

 **Disclaimer** : umm... Bleach is not mine it belongs to Tite Kubo. If could draw that well I probably wouldn't be broke... ;)

Stepping out of the cab, Ichigo waves goodbye to Inoue Orihime before walking up the steps and walking through the sliding glass doors into the pristine white building. The police office. He was going to get the key to Grimmjow's apartment and get his stuff. Then he was going to start his new life.

The second Ichigo walked into the building a blast of cold air hit him in the face. Blinking, Ichigo looked around and smiled, Renji was standing in a corner talking to a shorter cop with white hair standing up. Honestly, he looked like a teenager. Waving, Ichigo walked over and slung his arm over Renji's shoulder. "Hey." Ichigo says nonchalantly. Large turquoise eyes stare at Renji inquisitively, "Who's this Abarai?" He asks looking a slight but annoyed. "Ah, oh, umm this is Ichigo." Renji stuttered out seeming a bit uncomfortable, so Ichigo moved his arm off Renji's shoulder and stepped aside.

"Ichigo, this is Toshiro Hitsugaya, my partner." Renji introduces Ichigo to Toshiro, "Partner?" Ichigo asks incredulously, this kid was like 12! What was Renji thinking? "Not like that Ichigo! He's my partner on the police force." Renji's eyes are wide and he's blushing like an idiot, well he practically was one. Ichigo chuckled, "Okay Renji, so I need Grimmjow's apartment key so I can get my stuff." "Kay, I'll take you down to evidence." Renji motions to a set of stairs and starts sauntering towards them, expecting Ichigo to follow him.

The evidence room was basically a bunch of labeled cubbies behind a counter. There was a person filing a couple of clear bags under the letter A. White hair, yeah white, not like blonde white. As in snow white, hung midway down his back. When he turned around his eyes were black where there should be white and his irises were an exotic gold. A smirk appeared as he caught Ichigo staring at him, it spanned half his face and he had sharp elongated k nines. He was breathtaking.

"Yo, Renji who ya got there?" his voice sounded like you were hearing it from underwater, like the wind howling through the night. It spoke of chaos and danger, of something you want but you can never quite reach. "This is Ichigo. Ichigo meet Shirosaki Hichigo, Shiro meet Kurosaki Ichigo." Renji scratched the back of his head as he introduced them. There was a minute of silence as Ichigo and Shiro just stared at each other. Then suddenly there was a hand in front of Ichigo, "Nice ta meetcha Ichigo." A sly smirk graced Shiro's face as he said this. Taking Shiro's hand Ichigo shook it and smiled, a sincere smile. Shiro seemed like an interesting person, maybe they could be friends, or more.

"So, Shiro." Renji said, "Ichigo here wants to know if you have the blunette"s apartment key." "Do I have da apartment key, let me see here." Rifling[ER1] through a couple of baskets Shiro's head bobbed up and down as he inspected bag upon bag. Ichigo was transfixed by the way his pupils seemed to dilate when he found something he particularly disliked.

When Shiro was done searching the boxes he said, "Sorry Ichigo we don't seem ta have it here, perhaps the blunette left it somewhere. " "No, I know Grimmjow and if it's not here he definitely either has it or put it somewhere." A scowl crosses Ichigo's face as he says this. He felt like he had storm clouds floating above his head.

"Renji, will you talk to Grimmjow for me? I don't want to hear his voice. Or see his face for that matter. "Ichigo mutters looking sheepish. "Sure Ichigo, no problem. Never liked the bastard anyway." Renji walks back up the stairs and makes a call on his radio, 30 minutes later Renji returns practically radiating murderous intent. "He refused to talk! That fucking idiot! He refused to say anything unless you met with him Ichigo. I'm sorry." Looking down at his shoes Renji offers to escort me, "I'll go with you if you want." "No, this is something I must do on my own." Renji nods his approval and beckons for Ichigo to follow.

The holding cell holds only one person, Grimmjow. Looking up he smirks. "I knew you'd come Ichigo, you always did come back." "No I didn't! You kidnapped me and threatened my sister! We both know that I'd do anything for my sister!" suddenly it was all too much for Ichigo and all his suppressed anger rose to the surface, "I could have been in college the last three months! You've ruined my plans. You have no regard for other people, you never stop to think about your decisions. You're rash! Immature! You're like a kid!" "Shut the fuck up Ichigo! Do you think it was easy? Every day I thought about you! I loved you and you lied to me! You never loved me it was a game to you!" standing up Grimmjow walks up to the bars and grabs them baring his teeth at Ichigo, "I was a fool to love you Ichigo, you had your heart ripped out. The consequences were many. I thought I could heal you, help you. Instead you left me in the dust. Is that your way Ichigo? Eye for an eye? Tooth for a tooth? You've closed yourself off and you'll never be the same again. I'm done Ichigo, done waiting for the impossible. Your like a toy broken beyond repair, no one can fix you now. Here, take the key and go, I don't want to see you again." His voice sounds defeated and for a minute Ichigo thought about apologizing. No! He would not feel sorry for him. Taking the key Ichigo walked out of the room and didn't look back. There was nothing left for him there.

* * *

[ER1]


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: here's the fourth chapter, yay for wild Shiro!**

Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me it belongs to the genius Tite Kubo.

After leaving the police station Ichigo bought himself an apartment. It'd been three months since then. Things were going smoothly. His apartment was small but comfy. Thick, gray carpet lined the apartment wall to wall, except the bathroom and kitchen. Those were both had hard wood floor, light, possibly cedar wood. The counters were marble and the sinks stainless steel. Ichigo had a small TV and a coffee colored couch that was fuzzy and warm. All in all Ichigo was very content.

Coming home from work one day he spotted someone standing outside his apartment. Room 309. "Hey," he called out, "are you looking for me?" startled at the voice the figure turned around fumbling for something at his waist, a gun. Eyes wide he looked at Ichigo, a deer caught in headlights. He didn't give an answer before running off, but not before Ichigo saw his badge. NYPD. Curious Ichigo thought it necessary to pay Renji and Shiro a little visit.

Hopping off the bus Ichigo took the steps two at a time 'till he reached the door. Swinging it open he took a deep breath and looked around. No Renji, just a couple of cops huddled together discussing some non-descript case. Sighing Ichigo walked up to the nearest cop and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hi, I'm looking for either Renji or Shiro. Have you seen them?" rubbing his hands together Ichigo awaited an answer. "Umm, yeah I think Shiro's downstairs working in evidence," looking him in the eye the tall black haired cop grunted out, "He's a bit tied up right now but if it's urgent I'll take you to see him." "Thanks, I appreciate it." Ichigo replied as he followed him down the stairway.

Rounding a corner Ichigo almost fell as he ran into a hard muscular back. Blinking Ichigo staggered backwards only to be caught by a pair of slender hands, "Whoa there partner, ya alright there?" a voice asked from behind him. Ichigo recognized it immediately as Shiro's. "Shiro!" Ichigo yelled in surprise, when did he get here? Ichigo was confused. A watery chuckle sounded from behind him, Shiro had caught the look on Ichigo's face and apparently thought it was hilarious, "I was walking out of my boss' office when I spotted your orange hair disappearing down the stairwell and decided to follow you. I see Zaraki was kind enough to show you to my office…" Shiro shot a knowing glance at the man who was standing behind Ichigo. "You knew I was with da Boss Zaraki, why did you bring Ichigo down here?" Ichigo was once again confused, Zaraki knew? Huh. Apparently he couldn't just blindly trust people anymore.

Shiro dismissed Zaraki with a flick of a hand and a stern glare that seemed to say, 'We'll discuss this later, Zaraki.' Ichigo got shivers down his spine from that look. Directing his gaze back to Shiro Ichigo cleared his throat and began to speak, "I need to know something. Today when I got home there was a cop standing outside my door. When I approached him he ran off, was there a reason he was there?" Shiro face fell and he replied, "Ichigo… there's something I should tell ya." Ichigo looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, "Grimmjow's dead. He was found dead in an alley after his sister posted bail, we think he was targeted by a local crime lord. Nnoitra Gilga, known for trafficking drugs, but always getting rid of da evidence before the cops can convict 'im." Ichigo's face was expressionless, "What does that have to do with the cop outside my apartment?" so was his voice, it was cold and empty. "We've assigned a cop ta your apartment for protection in case Nnoitra decides he wants ya dead as well." "Very well, but I'd like the cop to be someone I know from now on alright?" Ichigo's face remained blank, "I'm not comfortable with people I don't know protecting me." Though Ichigo didn't really think he needed protection, he doubted the police department were going to leave him be. Shiro nodded and waved goodbye to Ichigo before heading up the stairs.

Ichigo was having mixed feelings, anger at the person who'd killed Grimmjow, but at the same time relief that he was gone. The last tie to his past was gone. Walking up the steps Ichigo took the key to his apartment and was startled to see Shiro standing there, it had only been a couple of hours since he'd gone to the police office. Were they really that quick? Might as well go see. Walking up to Shiro Ichigo was about to greet him when Shiro placed silent fingers to his lips, quieting him. Looking at Ichigo, Shiro gestured for him to move behind him. Silently, Ichigo complied trying to make his steps as light and quiet as possible. Under his breath Shiro muttered, "One, Two, Three." Before kicking the door to Ichigo's apartment open and yelling, "NYPD! Freeze and drop your weapons."

Ichigo's apartment looked like a tornado had ripped it apart. Two people stood in the middle of the living room, guns raised, eyes shining with wicked glee. Laughing one of them spoke, "Oh my Kaname looks like we've been caught." He didn't sound surprised at all, a foxlike smirk taking up half his face the other half almost fully obscured by silver bangs, squinted eyed peered out at Ichigo through the cover of his bangs. The other one spoke in a calm, steady tone, "Hand over Kurosaki Ichigo, and we will leave here peaceably." A visor covered his eyes and his black hair hung in dread locks, framing his face. His skin was a chocolatey color, an orange thing holding a sword strapped to his back. Shiro stepped inside with a God like aura surrounding him. A harsh laugh fell from his lips, almost a bit insane. Right on the brink of sanity and insanity, order and chaos. Pointing his gun at the silver foxlike man he shot, a crack resounded as a body thumped to the ground. Ichigo blinked and the next thing he knew he felt the cold presence of steel on his throat. "Don't try anything or he dies." An icy voice spoke from behind Ichigo. Then it was gone. Just like that.

Ichigo turned around and beheld a sight he would never forget. Kaname on the ground bleeding from his mouth, his neck snapped. Wiping his hands on his jeans Shiro looked at Ichigo with a feral look in his eyes. "Ichigo I think you should stay with me from now on." It wasn't a suggestion, it was a command and it sent delicious shivers down Ichigo's spine. He had no objections.


End file.
